Discovering Myself in 21 Days – Day 17

When you are locked inside your house with the man you call spouse, it’s double whammy. A wedlock in a lock down? While taking my vows years ago, my naïve heart believed it was only the beginning of happily ever after.  But over time, youth jumped out the window, kids hijacked my amygdala plexus and happily ever after spaced out amid the chaos of being the good wife, the doting mother and struggling to be me.

But Covid-19 has truly been a Circuit Breaker. It has huddled us under one roof, 24/7.  And I now wonder, what were those wedding vows? My memory has been damaged beyond repair to recollect anything more than the togetherness clause in sickness and health. Was there a caveat I missed? Because, I certainly do not remember the clause that mentioned togetherness in quarantine and lockdown; harmony in doing dishes and laundry or even washing bathrooms and cooking 2-minute noodles while pretending to be in love.

Truth is, over the past many days, we have been diligently engrossed in our duties and yet, thinking about our marriage and how it has been flexible enough to change with passing time, the different stages of life and changing definitions of a happily ever after.

Turns out, there can never be a fool proof contract. And a marriage for one cannot be restricted to a set of vows only. So today, we decided to script a fresh set.

We Vow To:

  1. End every fight with a joke, so it gets us cracking, not our bones.
  2. Wash dishes together as we grow old. One, we won’t hear each other rambling over the cling and clang and two, let’s follow a leader we look up to, Bill Gates, who claims he does it too.
  3. Drive each other nuts learning Salsa moves. The world deserves new comedians with not two but four left feet. And unless we don some good quality armour, there will be no feet left.
  4. Get back to being the friends we used to be. This husband-wife routine is all flak and no fun.
  5. Save all the money we can, at least, as long as the lockdown lasts. Ordering anything online is like giving the virus a red-carpet welcome.
  6. To let nothing and no one come in the way of true love. Food for me and philosophy for you.
  7. Not let the children take away our Netflix time, ever.

Being at home has been driving all of us up the roof. When the kids were way younger, we craved time together. And now that we have all the time in the world, we love this lighter take on things. This virus has been pretty effective in proving, all plans can fail; life is fragile. And the time spent together is right now. A marriage is not all wows, but a set of vows and a lot more of the two of you.


Today’s Lesson:  Renewing the vows seems like the best thing to do during this lock down. Albeit, the vows need a touch-up. They need to be more age appropriate in order to sustain the happily ever after.

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