January 1st is not just a day, it’s a feeling. One of starting afresh, of fulfilling hopes and desires; a day when I bury myself in the annual rituals of dusting off my diary and writing down those aspirational resolutions that have been rolling over year after year after year, unaccomplished because I never tried hard enough. Yet, on this day every year, I smile and pen down those exact same words as though on autopilot mode. 

As I begin to recreate my list, my little universe looks picture perfect—warm sunshine bathing the balcony trying to reach for my desk, girls giggling lost in play, the fresh aroma of masala tea from my kitchen tickling my nostrils and the husband lying on his stomach lost in his own resolutions with dreams in his eyes. 

My girls are playing a game of Coffee Pot, something like 20 Questions, and as I overhear the topics they discuss and the guesses they make, it occurs to me that childhood today is an all new ballgame. The world is very different today with exposure to the internet and more. While I am stuck with my age-old goals of weight loss and getting back to work, my girls are constantly turning over a new leaf. Every year, they grow at an alarming pace; their childhood is fast evaporating. They are spontaneous and always live in the present. They never seem to chase any goals. Wasn’t my childhood like that too?

As I dig my head back into my diary, I feel like a new person. My inner voice talks to me. For the first time in a couple of decades, I tear up my rotten resolutions and start afresh. So this year, I decide to live like my girls—in the moment; and do what makes me happy. I decide not to bog myself down with goals that I never accomplished—simply because I never meant to. So here goes my list, filled with things that my heart truly desires.

Resolutions 2020

  1. Be more giving—not of sermons and lectures but love and joy. 
  2. Dance and play the guitar.
  3. Write every day. 
  4. Spend time playing with my children along with their father.
  5. Travel solo once a year.

I cannot think of anything more to add. As my cup of hot tea reaches my hands, the better half can tell from the smile on my face that something exciting is brewing. We settle down over both our lists, starting our annual ‘Chai Pe Charcha’ as we work on Couple Goals for 2020. 

But before we can even begin,  the girls barge into our space. Their sixth sense is directly proportional to couple time. They are overly curious about our diaries hoping for secrets to come out. They snatch a diary each and begin to read. My 11-year-old giggles at point number 1 and tells me it’s an impossible feat.  She rolls her eyes at point number 5. That she says it’s unacceptable. The younger one takes over her father’s diary where she reads mostly about cricket matches. And then she goes, “So after you return from your next match overseas, we can make a movie – Baba Returns. Just like Golmaal Returns or Superman Returns”.

It’s a laugh riot after we imagine the father playing cricket clad in superman costume despite his moustache. The girls quickly bring out their diaries and make their maiden attempt at resolution writing making 1st January 2020 eventful. It feels like sowing  the seeds of goals and aspirations in these young minds. Sure they won’t open this page for the rest of 2020. But as they grow up, they are sure to get back to this diary which holds the key to memoirs and their changing personalities. 

P.S. There is something about landing in your forties. You get back your child-like qualities and feel absolutely comfortable in your skin. You let go of goals that were not meant for you and stick to what makes you happy. After all, a happy mommy makes a happy New Year and a forever happy family.