If you are feeling a low down in life, are in urgent need for an ego boost, feel gratitude missing for your meagre existence or wish to make it even with that neighbour who makes a big deal of her pretty home, I offer you this splendid opportunity to turn the situation around. Just pay me a surprise visit. And I guarantee, you will return home happy and content and feeling on Cloud 9.

As a prerequisite though, make sure you have been training for an adventure climb. You must know how to get around sharp objects swiftly, miss a skid on slippery floors, be able to make a long leap when the situation so demands and whatever other hurdle comes your way. At best, playing Temple Run would make sure you are ready. And yes, if MSEB has been kind enough with power outage some late evening making candle light dinner a compulsion, we do have a well stocked First Aid Kit, just in case. But like they say ‘Darr ke aage jeet hai’ (Beyond fear lies true victory… I suck at translations). so if you decide to ignore all warning signs and nosedive, here is what to expect ..

A spacious house oozing with positive vibes, engulfed by plenty of fresh air, natural light and stunning, unblocked views of sunset and moon-set(although it needs you to booze until 3 am and then wait at the window). And as long as you keep your eyes shut you’d find yourself in paradise with yummy cooking aroma, the angelic voices of kids or chanting by a senior. But with open eyes, the place at best resembles the LOC.

A living room floor with unscrupulous display of toys, books and crayons decorating every square inch of real estate thereby robbing the visitor any time to appreciate artefacts mounted on the wall with the sole intention of adding beauty to the room.

A dining table that yearns to look it’s virgin self at size zero portraying space and elegance the way it once did in her days of youth at the showroom and before hitting my living room; a sitting bench at the entrance meant to welcome and assist visitors to ease the task of wearing and taking shoes off but that actually bears the brunt of a variety of covers – badminton and tennis rackets, skating bag, gym shoe case and at least a toy or two.

A balcony so exhausted with potted plants and bikes and all sorts of wheels that it regrets its very existence while sadly looking at the beautifully landscaped balcony downstairs and going red with envy. And the poor safety door standing tall in all its resplendent beauty offering any outsider a peek, rather warning about the hostile conditions inside; hopelessly attempting to stop people from feeling offended having made the mistake of stepping in. And this is just the first room!! I am not even getting started on the others or I may need to publish a book. A description of things like the side tables and other ornate looking furniture will only ensure more misery.

Add to it the commotion of people trapped inside – 2 senior citizens, 2 juniors, 2 maids and a better half that are fortunate enough to spend more time outside the house; regular visitors like friends and family and finally yours truly.  Each one battling against all odds to live up and contribute to the mandatory chaos we call life every single day. And you thought Big Boss was better?

I now hope you understand why one would require some guerrilla tactics to secure an entry into my abode. By the way, the living room does get a breather once in a while; that is when we flee away on a vacation to destroy some other living space. And on a more positive note, if you can manage around the place with the minimum safety requirements of a helmet and trekking boots, you are bound to enjoy the company of some of the most amazing people alive.

After an entire season held captive by this situation called the Summer Vacations, this morning my living room finally dolled up! I sent the kids out to play and gave the room a rejuvenating facial. After an hour when the girls arrived, one look at the clean finish and they retorted, “the house looks extra clean today.  It’s as though the Prime Minister is coming to visit!!”

And I did what I do daily; warned them that I need the house to look like this at least until evening. So, anyone coming?